Understanding Life, Love and Pain

I’ve experienced it all, the bittersweet taste of life. Love, pain, confusion, bitterness, the feeling of being completely worthless, heartbreak, depression and yet I survived.

In life, love is a beautiful experience. Yes, it will always bring pain and God knows what else… but it also brings joy and a feeling of being complete that none of us can ever explain. From my own experience, I’d rather have love and lost, than never to have loved at all. I’ve experienced pain, but I’ve also experienced a little moments of happiness, and I’ll never trade that little happiness for anything. I am who I am now not only because of the good things, but basically because of the bad moments I went through. We experience these painful moments so we could well appreciate the good things in our lives. Sometimes, it is a good thing that the Lord allows some things to happen to us, to make us stronger and wiser than we were before.The quicker we learn and accept things, the better we will be. 

Without love, we will never be complete. Love is what makes the world go round as they say, it is the force that keeps us innately good. I wouldn’t blame love for the pain it brings, nor will I hold grudges against it for the misery it caused, instead I will thank God for it. We get wounds from it, but those wounds will heal eventually but, it’s not like magic that poof! it’s all healed. It should start within ourselves too. Pain is just but a reminder, that we have lessons to learn, joys to look forward to, and a God to go to in times of need. Don’t be scared to love and and experience the pain because it’s part of LIFE. Grieve from it,  but it's important that  when you decide to grieve,  you don't have to shed a certain number of tears, get angry all you want, but don’t be consumed by bitterness because of it, think that life doesn't stop for your pain. Instead, learn from it and use it to become the best person you can be.

I remember when I was young, I always find myself talking to MYSELF saying… “Be strong. Remember, not everything has a happy ending and endings don’t mean stop!". It’s just a way of telling ourselves that there’s a new beginning ahead of us. You should always be ready for the unpredictable and expect the unexpected.  It’s easy to fall, hard to get up. But once you’re up and back on track, you will be a better person. That’s the way of life! You don’t just live it, you learn from it.”

Believe me.... not all lessons in life can be taught, you have to live through it!

The Health Benefits of Humor: Laughter the Best Medicine

Life is not a bed of roses, at times it is beautiful and at others it leaves behind a trail of sadness. There are many times in our lives when we feel low and the challenges expect us to tackle them clearly and responsibly but that doesn’t mean that we should remove the slightest moments of laughter and light heartedness from our lives.

Laughter is a blessing in disguise which many of us fail to realize. In fact it is one of the things which are contagious in a positive manner; when you smile you leave a smile on the onlooker’s face as well. Laughter is one integral aspect which takes a person beyond just the concept of flesh and bones. Indeed, a person who laughs more has a happy heart and a happy mind which are extremely essential to be successful in life.

Laughter is therapeutic in nature as it opens up your lungs by freeing the breathing process, eases the chest tension by stretching the diaphragm and gives an overall healing effect to your body. It helps in improving respiratory functions for people suffering from problems like asthma. Laughter boosts the overall blood circulation as it improves the blood vessel function and reduces blood pressure and heart rate. It also helps reduce stress in a great way as it reduces the ‘cortisol’ level in the body.

One of the best healing effects of laughter is seen in combating cancer. Cancer thrives in a body which is oxygen depleted and laughter is known to increase the blood circulation thus it increases the availability of oxygen in the body. This is precisely the reason why most of the patients are advised to watch funny stories and cartoons to make them laugh uncontrollably. Another laughter therapy is that it reduces weight by reducing food cravings. In fact, laughing for ten minutes burns 40 calories in a day. Laughter indeed, is the best medicine. To lead a happy and healthy life, laugh a lot and enjoy your life.

Emotional Eating

Women are known to be sensitive and emotional individuals. An increase in eating habits due to strong emotions is known as Emotional Eating. Hence, this type of eating disorder primarily affects women. Emotional Eating can be a recuperative health condition, but it can also cause devastation in most social relationships.


CAUSES:


Boredom and Stress
Overeating and emotional eating are similar in nature and result. Emotional eating, like overeating, most likely will result in gaining extra weight. Boredom and too much stress can also lead to this eating disorder. Hence, the difficulty in dealing with inner conflicts may lead to emotional stress. And more women tend to overeat during times of stress to ease or lessen their emotional pain and misery.


Emotional Situations
Hiding emotions can put a big barrier between relationships with people around you. Most people with this problem tend to resort to eating instead of facing their emotional situations. This can cause severe emotional problems for you and the one with whom you are having an argument, because instead of dealing with it and finding a solution, you head to the kitchen to get something to eat. In due time, these incidents can grow to more serious arguments and could lead to more emotional turmoil between you and the people around you. The effect would be more and more emotional situations and your answer would be to eat and eat more.
Disappointments or frustration can also lead someone to overeat, and when someone wasn’t able to reach target goals, that person had more reasons to eat. Whether they feel they are not being appreciated or they are simply overreacting to small problems, they may be ready to eat again. These persons turn to food for fulfillment and contentment; they accept the fact that only food can make them happy. This makes a person’s self esteem and self confidence very low and the cycle of eating when they are down, repeats over and over again.


SOLUTION


Remember, the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem. It is hard to find a solution if you don’t know what the problem is. If you do admit this, you are on your way to recovery. Just remember to watch what you eat and say to yourself ‘you are beautiful’. No need to look at models with their thin bodies; for all we know they also might be having these problems.

Past Hurts

Past hurts that linger in the memory can be very painful, it can definitely destroy one's self esteem and confidence.Everyone has gone through heartaches and going through it can be very tough. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused. You also may feel anxious about the future. Know that reactions like these will lessen over time. 


Losing someone you love is very painful, you may experience all kinds of difficult and surprising emotions. Sometimes it may feel like the sadness will never let up. While these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming, But they are normal reactions to loss. Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing.

The memories of the good times you had can be almost impossible to forget. It can seem that everything you look at sparks of some sort of painful remembrance. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult time like reaching out to others for support. Even in the midst of the sadness and stress of your loss, you have an opportunity to learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person. 


Just because you are feeling emptiness in your life right now, doesn’t mean that nothing is happening or that things will never change. It’s important not to let these emotions drag on and affect our life so much. Learning from your mistakes is the key to not repeating them.

MISTAKES

Nobody likes making mistakes. But you must also realize that mistakes are an essential part of self improvement. Don’t be overwhelmed with guilt and regret, analyze how you can learn from them.

* Apologize with Dignity

If you’ve made mistakes that harm other people, it is important to offer a dignified apology. Be clear that it was an unfortunate incident that will not be repeated. A good apology can go along way to restoring trust.

If you don’t apologize, out of embarrassment or unwillingness, the offended person will hold it against you. If your apology is sincere, the other person is likely to forgive you.

* Don’t Waste Time Trying to Justify Mistakes

Unfortunately, it is our natural instinct to try to justify our actions. When you make a mistake, theinitial reaction is to blame someone else.

We justify mistakes for the sake of our ego. Sometimes it is best to say, very simply — yes, I made a mistake.

* Avoid Repeating Mistakes

You should avoid feeling guilty about making mistakes, but at the same time, you should make a resolution to learn from them.

* Mistakes are Opportunities to Learn

From your own mistakes you can gain wisdom and accelerate self-improvement.



We must understand that we're only human.Accept that we will make mistakes and that we are not perfect.

To Hold On or To Let Go?

Heartbreak is the number one thing that can destroy motivation..losing someone you love takes away all the reasons to go on living..it may be overrated but most certainly feels that way..if you choose to believe in love then you should be prepared for the opposite: losing it..this is where we get into the nitty gritty of holding on vs letting go..when your mind tries to keep holding on to something, it keeps playing back the memories over and over..the mind is tracking back everything that has happened..so by holding on to those memories, you are stuck in a prison within your mind..there is a natural process in life that involves letting go as there cannot be an inhale without having to exhale, so life itself does not complete its expression until it lets go..however, often we resist the letting go part..how long may we hold on to the past before it becomes a deadening action on one’s own potential and future..some people let themselves deteriorate along with the ghosts of the past..change is harder to some than others, but there’s no denying it as an integral process of life..there’s really no way to keep seasons from changing spring to summer then fall to winter..we harvest the crops and then let go, only to discover new growth in the spring..like it would be foolish to try to hold onto the tomato plant..we could shield it from the cold and snow, but it would still die..our actions would be futile and a waste of time..nature knows that what grows must die and that new growth will come..how then can we approach the many circumstances in our lives when we face a time of letting go?  it is by loving that we are able to let go easily and with grace, knowing there will be new growth somewhere as a result..if dear friends announces their move hundreds of miles away, let your love of them and happiness for their great new life ease the loss of their sweet loving presence in your everyday routine..recognize with love that it is an important step in their life thus celebrate it rather than mourn their departure..loving and letting go can be applied as well to numerous other situations..perhaps the best that we can do when we face a situation or circumstance that calls us to let go is to go deeply into the love that is there..in recognizing the love present, we can find peace in letting go and an ability to see the new life that becomes possible..we can let go through loving, because love never dies even though the person is gone, the situation will surely end sometime..this is a no brainer cold truth, but why does it hurt like hell?  does it mean it’s still worth holding on to?

Never Ending Story

You would think that after a while things would get better… you just have to accept that that’s what life is like. And then it’s some huge surprise every single time I fail, even though I should be used to it by now because it’s like my life story. Its my never ending story and my life has always been like this. up-down, happy-sad, cry-laugh, love-hurt, in-love-broken-hearted.....

I wonder why people act so surprised when they find out how unhappy I really am.  It’s as though they couldn’t tell just by looking at me, or talking to me.  They really needed to see through me, which not many people do.  That’s usually because the second they do, they get scared and leave, or they give up and leave.

That's why  I like to get really dressed up sometimes and deny everything to please them or make them not to worry anymore... but sometimes its better admit to everyone, for me to know if they could really accept me for who i am...

Some people will always tell you it will get better. It’s like this,like that, blah blah blah...really shitty advice everyone feels compelled to give you when you’ve been hurt.  But that’s exactly what it is.  just an advice.  Although it might eventually be okay, but it isn’t right now.  Why is it so bad to feel bad, in a situation that isn’t good at all?

It’s hard to be strong when you are trying so hard to get through the day without dying. Is it hard to understand?

And sometimes I think, there's really no big plan for us.  Some people spend their whole lives believing that there is a reason why we are here, we just haven’t figured it out.  But I now know why. The reason we are all born, is to die.  Inevitably it is the only two things every person will have in common.  They were all born to die.  So what if I want my destiny to happen sooner than everyone else???  

I'm so sick and tired of it all.

So Tired

It seems each day I wake up I try to think positive.... but it never fails that I am reminded of how things are not as I wish they were. I am SO tired of feeling depressed. I ignore the good things, advances, and even gestures from others because I am so wrapped up in my consuming past pains.  I used to be so strong, but now I can NOT stop the tears from flowing. It's amazing how I let myself get so attached to anything or anyone in my life when I know that at anytime anyone I love could leave or just not be around anymore. I thought that telling people how you truly feel and being honest are the only TRUE way to having a HAPPY full life, but to what purpose now ......... when I know that someday.. they would eventually choose to walk away. I am trying really hard not to become angry and  bitter. But I am tired of feeling like I am always the one being hurt. I am tired of crying alone and feeling sorry for myself. 

I know I deserve all the things my heart desires -----but how & when?
When and how do I get to be really happy?

What Causes Stress?

Stress can be defined as the automatic, physiological response to any physical or emotional situation that mobilizes the body for quick action. Stress is when we feel a large weight on our shoulders, pressured, worried, nervous and agitated. Stress is a part of our everyday lives and there isn't a person in the world who can run from it. Stress may arise from a one-time event or involve a chronic, long-term response. 
What causes stress we ask? Many of us may reply by saying: "What doesn't cause stress?" In the day-to-day hustle and bustle of life, many of us encounter stress to the point of being overwhelmed and exhausted by it.

The causes and effects of stress can vary by individual. What may be a stressor for me, may not be a stressor for you. It is important that we all become aware of our own "stress limits," and do what we can to keep stress at a minimum.
Some people are more flexible in handling stress and seem to take things in stride, while others may become overwhelmed by the slightest change in their daily routine. One thing that is certain, is that when stress is unmanaged it can have a detrimental affect upon our health, AND our emotional well-being.
Stress can be caused by a number of things, such as: financial difficulties, physical changes in our bodies such as pregnancy or disease, or any life changing event that you or I, may or may not have control over.
A number of situations and scenarios can cause stress in our lives.

When doses of stress are small, it can help us rise to the occasion of meeting challenges. But beyond a certain point, stress can cause disruptions in our relationships, mood and in the quality of our life. It is a known fact, that chronic stress can cause a rise in blood pressure, heart rate and may weaken the immune system. Other detriments to our health from stress may include: depression, sleep problems, digestion problems, and the possibility of having a heart attack.

Although rarely considered, stress can be categorized as internal and/or external.

Internal stressors are sparked by what we feel internally, such as (a) poor self image, negative self-talk, and clashes in our faith, and belief systems.

External stressors, on the other hand - are things that happen in our environment, that we may or may not have control over. Career changes, divorce, the loss of a loved one; injury or illness, can all be classified as an "external stressor."

There are many ways in which we can counteract stress in our lives, and increase our resilience. Some of these ways include:

- Remaining positive, in spite of bad times

- Allowing yourself to become focused on worthwhile things

- And first and foremost, "BEING FLEXIBLE!"

It is important to recognize when our levels of stress are out of control, and reaching a level that could be considered as "an overload of stress." But being able to identify our stressors and adjusting our attitude and reaction to stress, is one of the most beneficial ways of reducing its effect upon our life.

Fix Depression - Keep Positive

Negative thinking habits play a very important role in depression. Research shows depressed people tend to minimize their accomplishments, talents, and qualities. Happy people experience failure, disappointment, rejection, negative emotions, pain, and great sorrows, too, just like depressed people. But happy people keep a positive attitude by gracefully accepting sadness and suffering as normal parts of life, while doing what they can about their problems. This also makes them more pleasant to be around and improves their social lives. Part of happiness is a courageous choice of loving life in the face of suffering, a chosen position or view of things.

Fix Depression - Develop Interests

Develop Interests

Depression involves sadness, pessimism, a preoccupation with personal problems, and perhaps feeling sorry for one's self, anguish, and hopelessness. Depressed people often lose interest in many activities and social contacts because of loss of pleasure in and enthusiasm for their usual activities. They may become apathetic or socially withdrawn. Low energy, chronic tiredness, excessive sleeping, and insomnia are common. Other possible symptoms include poor appetite, heavy eating, weight loss or gain, feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness, anxiety, regrets, decreased productivity, poor concentration, or recurrent thoughts of death or suicide. Four out of five cases of severe depression clear up without treatment within six to nine months, but half of the people with severe depression experience it again later.


Perhaps one of the most common reasons for depression is a lack of enough interests and activities. A small number of them tend to become routine and often boring. Interests and activities are very important in mental health, contributing to self-esteem and happiness. They give satisfaction, help make you feel good about yourself, and keep your mind off problems and negative thoughts and emotions. Simply cultivating them can sometimes cure depression, grief, addiction, explosive anger, anxiety, excessive worrying, or guilt, especially if you do the activities whenever you feel the negative emotion. There are many things you can do in this area: house work, visiting the sick or elderly, developing a hobby that involves the use of the hands, and so much more.


Remember:  Sadness is always temporary. This, too, shall pass. Can't, If, When, and But never did anything. Trials give you strength, sorrows give understanding and wisdom.

Don't be judgemental

Look for and recognize the good in yourself and in others. We are all capable of so-called "good" and "bad" behaviors and we all have our "good" and "off" days. We are all unique and it is wonderful that we are different and not all the same - in our appearance, our thoughts, our opinions, our likes and dislikes. Being different is not threatening, it is not "bad", it is just "different". Embrace the differences and be happy for the variety. And pleasssseeee, forget the concepts of "right" and "wrong". People are not good or bad or right or wrong, they just are. If you were in "their shoes" maybe you would act differently, or maybe not. Being judgmental wastes time and cuts you off from opportunities and meaningful relationships - because you are NOT perfect either, and your judgment might be WORSE than the person's you are judging!

Never judge a book by it's cover.

Remember the GOLDEN RULE: We should treat others as we want to be treated.