Understanding Life, Love and Pain

I’ve experienced it all, the bittersweet taste of life. Love, pain, confusion, bitterness, the feeling of being completely worthless, heartbreak, depression and yet I survived.

In life, love is a beautiful experience. Yes, it will always bring pain and God knows what else… but it also brings joy and a feeling of being complete that none of us can ever explain. From my own experience, I’d rather have love and lost, than never to have loved at all. I’ve experienced pain, but I’ve also experienced a little moments of happiness, and I’ll never trade that little happiness for anything. I am who I am now not only because of the good things, but basically because of the bad moments I went through. We experience these painful moments so we could well appreciate the good things in our lives. Sometimes, it is a good thing that the Lord allows some things to happen to us, to make us stronger and wiser than we were before.The quicker we learn and accept things, the better we will be. 

Without love, we will never be complete. Love is what makes the world go round as they say, it is the force that keeps us innately good. I wouldn’t blame love for the pain it brings, nor will I hold grudges against it for the misery it caused, instead I will thank God for it. We get wounds from it, but those wounds will heal eventually but, it’s not like magic that poof! it’s all healed. It should start within ourselves too. Pain is just but a reminder, that we have lessons to learn, joys to look forward to, and a God to go to in times of need. Don’t be scared to love and and experience the pain because it’s part of LIFE. Grieve from it,  but it's important that  when you decide to grieve,  you don't have to shed a certain number of tears, get angry all you want, but don’t be consumed by bitterness because of it, think that life doesn't stop for your pain. Instead, learn from it and use it to become the best person you can be.

I remember when I was young, I always find myself talking to MYSELF saying… “Be strong. Remember, not everything has a happy ending and endings don’t mean stop!". It’s just a way of telling ourselves that there’s a new beginning ahead of us. You should always be ready for the unpredictable and expect the unexpected.  It’s easy to fall, hard to get up. But once you’re up and back on track, you will be a better person. That’s the way of life! You don’t just live it, you learn from it.”

Believe me.... not all lessons in life can be taught, you have to live through it!

Emotional Eating

Women are known to be sensitive and emotional individuals. An increase in eating habits due to strong emotions is known as Emotional Eating. Hence, this type of eating disorder primarily affects women. Emotional Eating can be a recuperative health condition, but it can also cause devastation in most social relationships.


CAUSES:


Boredom and Stress
Overeating and emotional eating are similar in nature and result. Emotional eating, like overeating, most likely will result in gaining extra weight. Boredom and too much stress can also lead to this eating disorder. Hence, the difficulty in dealing with inner conflicts may lead to emotional stress. And more women tend to overeat during times of stress to ease or lessen their emotional pain and misery.


Emotional Situations
Hiding emotions can put a big barrier between relationships with people around you. Most people with this problem tend to resort to eating instead of facing their emotional situations. This can cause severe emotional problems for you and the one with whom you are having an argument, because instead of dealing with it and finding a solution, you head to the kitchen to get something to eat. In due time, these incidents can grow to more serious arguments and could lead to more emotional turmoil between you and the people around you. The effect would be more and more emotional situations and your answer would be to eat and eat more.
Disappointments or frustration can also lead someone to overeat, and when someone wasn’t able to reach target goals, that person had more reasons to eat. Whether they feel they are not being appreciated or they are simply overreacting to small problems, they may be ready to eat again. These persons turn to food for fulfillment and contentment; they accept the fact that only food can make them happy. This makes a person’s self esteem and self confidence very low and the cycle of eating when they are down, repeats over and over again.


SOLUTION


Remember, the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem. It is hard to find a solution if you don’t know what the problem is. If you do admit this, you are on your way to recovery. Just remember to watch what you eat and say to yourself ‘you are beautiful’. No need to look at models with their thin bodies; for all we know they also might be having these problems.

Pampering Day!

Yesterday was so dramatic, I guess it’s one of those days when I really can’t figure out what to do. I’m at a point in my life where I’m trying to let go of some things which im not really sure if i can afford to lose. Im too scared to admit that there are some things in life that isn't easy to let go, I have this tendency to just deny it and my way is to just push it away. I had been overwhelmed with fears, and I kept holding on to my past hurts and I just can't stop clinging on to it, I generalize things, and usually anticipate bad things will happen again. But hey! I can't blame myself, I have reasons why I should feel that way.

Oh well,  I do feel SANER today...So, I decided to splurge today and pamper myself by eating healthy meals, ate all the food I craved for the last two weeks, went to a SPA house, had a steam bath to relax my  tired muscles, then finally, got a relaxing massage. Really a massage is a great way to remove the STRESS that you feel through out your whole body. And truly, things will look better when you feel a little better.. I'm feeling much calmer now and hope i would be able to get through til tomorrow. (fingers crossed) 

Not sure what else to say right now....What's important is that, I managed to make myself happy today.


This is me... just venting, I just had to get this out of my system.


I hope you won't get tired of me. 

Stress Management - Listening to Music

Instead of blasting the TV with incredibly negative news that skew my view of the world and cause me even more irritation, sometimes you should just put on calming relaxing music and let it play in the background.


Truly a relaxing music is a great way to relax!

Past Hurts

Past hurts that linger in the memory can be very painful, it can definitely destroy one's self esteem and confidence.Everyone has gone through heartaches and going through it can be very tough. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused. You also may feel anxious about the future. Know that reactions like these will lessen over time. 


Losing someone you love is very painful, you may experience all kinds of difficult and surprising emotions. Sometimes it may feel like the sadness will never let up. While these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming, But they are normal reactions to loss. Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing.

The memories of the good times you had can be almost impossible to forget. It can seem that everything you look at sparks of some sort of painful remembrance. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult time like reaching out to others for support. Even in the midst of the sadness and stress of your loss, you have an opportunity to learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person. 


Just because you are feeling emptiness in your life right now, doesn’t mean that nothing is happening or that things will never change. It’s important not to let these emotions drag on and affect our life so much. Learning from your mistakes is the key to not repeating them.

MISTAKES

Nobody likes making mistakes. But you must also realize that mistakes are an essential part of self improvement. Don’t be overwhelmed with guilt and regret, analyze how you can learn from them.

* Apologize with Dignity

If you’ve made mistakes that harm other people, it is important to offer a dignified apology. Be clear that it was an unfortunate incident that will not be repeated. A good apology can go along way to restoring trust.

If you don’t apologize, out of embarrassment or unwillingness, the offended person will hold it against you. If your apology is sincere, the other person is likely to forgive you.

* Don’t Waste Time Trying to Justify Mistakes

Unfortunately, it is our natural instinct to try to justify our actions. When you make a mistake, theinitial reaction is to blame someone else.

We justify mistakes for the sake of our ego. Sometimes it is best to say, very simply — yes, I made a mistake.

* Avoid Repeating Mistakes

You should avoid feeling guilty about making mistakes, but at the same time, you should make a resolution to learn from them.

* Mistakes are Opportunities to Learn

From your own mistakes you can gain wisdom and accelerate self-improvement.



We must understand that we're only human.Accept that we will make mistakes and that we are not perfect.

Health Benefits of Steam Baths

Stress and tension is a fairly common occurrence for most people these days. There are occasions when stress can be so overwhelming that you feel like giving up. You can become depressed and when you reach this state it is extremely difficult to motivate yourself to do anything. Your physical and emotional well-being can suffer if you let stress get to you, which is why you have to find a way to let off steam. You need to find something which enables you to release those pent-up emotions and gets you to burn off some energy.One of the things I learned lately is that going to a gym or spa after a hard day's work can really do wonders. I discovered that taking a steam bath/sauna have health benefits beyond just relaxation.

photo from tine_stone of flicker

A good sweat whether it's from a workout or from a steam bath is excellent for healthy skin. Dermatologists understand the benefits of steam to create a beautiful, healthy glow. Serious sweating washes the skin better than soap and water since it unlocks the pores and lets deep-seated grime along with dead cells to be washed out. 


Steam bathing is also an effective treatment in respiratory conditions and is highly recommended for the treatment of the common cold, sinusitis, bronchitis, and asthma (it does apply to me because I'm an asthmatic person). Steam relieves inflammation and congestion of the upper respiratory membranes, It also helps relieves throat irritation by moistening the air. Steam loosens secretions and stimulates discharges of mucous from the throat and lungs. Also, it improves circulation and blood flow, the heat of a steam causes the heart rate to increase and blood vessels to expand that creates cardiovascular workout without having to strain muscles and joints, it is actually the same result we get from mild workout such as brisk walk.

Steam bath also relaxes muscles and relieves the pain due to physical and mental stress, even releasing toxins and free radicals that may allow for better overall health. You may wonder about the difference between sauna and steam bath but there generally is no difference noted between a dry sauna and a wet sauna or a steam bath as the benefit is related to generating enough sweat and heat to detoxify and relax the body.

One of the things I realize in my own life is that no matter how bad a day might have been, taking care of my self makes all the difference in how I feel about who I am. Taking care of my body not only cleanses the outside, but it also refreshes me internally. From my perspective it’s a cleansing of the soul if you will. Taking care of my body reenergizes me from within.


Now that I learned that stress and tension can affect our physical, mental and emotional state, the best way to restore ourselves is to reward ourselves with a hot and relaxing bath.  :)

What Causes Stress?

Stress can be defined as the automatic, physiological response to any physical or emotional situation that mobilizes the body for quick action. Stress is when we feel a large weight on our shoulders, pressured, worried, nervous and agitated. Stress is a part of our everyday lives and there isn't a person in the world who can run from it. Stress may arise from a one-time event or involve a chronic, long-term response. 
What causes stress we ask? Many of us may reply by saying: "What doesn't cause stress?" In the day-to-day hustle and bustle of life, many of us encounter stress to the point of being overwhelmed and exhausted by it.

The causes and effects of stress can vary by individual. What may be a stressor for me, may not be a stressor for you. It is important that we all become aware of our own "stress limits," and do what we can to keep stress at a minimum.
Some people are more flexible in handling stress and seem to take things in stride, while others may become overwhelmed by the slightest change in their daily routine. One thing that is certain, is that when stress is unmanaged it can have a detrimental affect upon our health, AND our emotional well-being.
Stress can be caused by a number of things, such as: financial difficulties, physical changes in our bodies such as pregnancy or disease, or any life changing event that you or I, may or may not have control over.
A number of situations and scenarios can cause stress in our lives.

When doses of stress are small, it can help us rise to the occasion of meeting challenges. But beyond a certain point, stress can cause disruptions in our relationships, mood and in the quality of our life. It is a known fact, that chronic stress can cause a rise in blood pressure, heart rate and may weaken the immune system. Other detriments to our health from stress may include: depression, sleep problems, digestion problems, and the possibility of having a heart attack.

Although rarely considered, stress can be categorized as internal and/or external.

Internal stressors are sparked by what we feel internally, such as (a) poor self image, negative self-talk, and clashes in our faith, and belief systems.

External stressors, on the other hand - are things that happen in our environment, that we may or may not have control over. Career changes, divorce, the loss of a loved one; injury or illness, can all be classified as an "external stressor."

There are many ways in which we can counteract stress in our lives, and increase our resilience. Some of these ways include:

- Remaining positive, in spite of bad times

- Allowing yourself to become focused on worthwhile things

- And first and foremost, "BEING FLEXIBLE!"

It is important to recognize when our levels of stress are out of control, and reaching a level that could be considered as "an overload of stress." But being able to identify our stressors and adjusting our attitude and reaction to stress, is one of the most beneficial ways of reducing its effect upon our life.

Fix Depression - Keep Positive

Negative thinking habits play a very important role in depression. Research shows depressed people tend to minimize their accomplishments, talents, and qualities. Happy people experience failure, disappointment, rejection, negative emotions, pain, and great sorrows, too, just like depressed people. But happy people keep a positive attitude by gracefully accepting sadness and suffering as normal parts of life, while doing what they can about their problems. This also makes them more pleasant to be around and improves their social lives. Part of happiness is a courageous choice of loving life in the face of suffering, a chosen position or view of things.

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationships

We all hope that when we get in a relationship that it will be a healthy one. Unfortunately, for many, this isn't the case. You may find yourself questioning whether you are in a healthy relationship at some point. Just because your relationship runs across hard times doesn't mean that the relationship is unhealthy. Every relationship will run into trouble at times. However, there are some relationships that shouldn't exist because they are unhealthy and, in some cases, deadly.


There are certain things that you should be able to expect in a relationships at all times. If you can't expect them, you are in an unhealthy relationship. If you have problems in your relationship and you can't talk about those problems, you are in an unhealthy relationship. If you can't expect the other person to make the right choices, you are in an unhealthy relationship. If you can't trust you partner, you are in an unhealthy relationship.


There are certain things that you should be able to expect in a relationships at all times. If you can't expect them, you are in an unhealthy relationship. If you have problems in your relationship and you can't talk about those problems, you are in an unhealthy relationship. If you can't expect the other person to make the right choices, you are in an unhealthy relationship. If you can't trust you partner, you are in an unhealthy relationship.


Unhealthy relationships begin when one person doesn't respect the other person. This could be an abuser who never respects the person he/she is with. It could be a cheater that can't stay true to his word. It could be a number of different scenarios. The thing to keep in mind is that if the other person is disrespecting you in any manner, you are not in a healthy relationship.

It takes two to make the relationship work. If you are in an unhealthy relationship, you will find that you are fighting all the time or not talking at all. Both situations are hard to deal with. Finding yourself in an unhealthy relationship causes stress that is unnecessary and it may be time to call it quits. It doesn't just affect you, it affects anyone else living in the home including children. It also affects other family members and friends who are watching the disease of an unhealthy relationship spread. It is like cancer. Cancer in the relationship is no better than cancer in the body. It sits waiting to attack and it can be deadly in some circumstances.

If you find that you are in an unhealthy relationship, you have two choices. You can seek help to work the relationship out or you can call it quits. Staying in an unhealthy relationship isn't a good answer and it will never end well. Get help or get out. Everyone deserves to be in a healthy relationship where both parties are willing to help each other grow in their lives. If you find that you aren't there, it is time to move on to another situation that allows you to grow the way that you were meant to grow.

Don't be judgemental

Look for and recognize the good in yourself and in others. We are all capable of so-called "good" and "bad" behaviors and we all have our "good" and "off" days. We are all unique and it is wonderful that we are different and not all the same - in our appearance, our thoughts, our opinions, our likes and dislikes. Being different is not threatening, it is not "bad", it is just "different". Embrace the differences and be happy for the variety. And pleasssseeee, forget the concepts of "right" and "wrong". People are not good or bad or right or wrong, they just are. If you were in "their shoes" maybe you would act differently, or maybe not. Being judgmental wastes time and cuts you off from opportunities and meaningful relationships - because you are NOT perfect either, and your judgment might be WORSE than the person's you are judging!

Never judge a book by it's cover.

Remember the GOLDEN RULE: We should treat others as we want to be treated.