Forgive, but never Forget

Forgive and forget… this is a popular line used by lots of people especially when giving advice, but it’s not one that is easily followed, easier said than done as always.

Forgiving someone who has done something hurtful and bad to us is not easy, really not that easy. But it usually can be done, though it may take some time. Even though we’ve forgiven someone for the wrong  things they’ve done, we can never really forget the pain, at least not completely. Our mind can be sharp when it comes to these things. Especially if someone has hurt us BIG time. 
What’s the difference between forgiving and forgetting, anyway? If you’ve forgiven someone, doesn’t it automatically mean that you’re willing to forget everything that happened?  Forgiveness is a process and it may take a long time, some even take forever before the resentment and the anger subsides. Forgiveness means that you choose not to punish that person because of what that person has done to you. But giving forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to forget.
Personally, I have a hard time forgiving and forgetting however I can eventually forgive but can never forget and even if I can, I wouldn't want to. There are so many things that went through my mind thinking bout forgiving those people who have caused me so much pain, For me, Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation. Forgiving may somehow release us  from resentment and negative emotions. So I only consider it more as "acceptance" of the things we cannot undo or change.

It’s not a matter of holding a grudge, it’s just that once the damage has been done, it can never be undone. It can be improved and healed, yes, but then again, it can never be undone. In other words, you can forgive the person, but you can’t forget what they did. It will stay with you forever,  just like a wound, it can be healed but the SCARS will remain, but what changes is how you deal with your emotions. Over time, the pain, disappointment and anger may diminish. It will come to a point wherein it becomes just a distant thought with no more emotional impact. Nevertheless, it will enter your mind… someday, you’ll look back… especially during the times in your life when you’re forced to recall it. But then you’re in control. Because it doesn’t affect you like it used to. And this is when you can say that you’re stronger, because of what you’ve been through and because of what you had to endure.That’s why I can say that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with remembering. “Forgive, but never forget“. Now, that’s more like it. Wouldn’t you agree?  

Past Hurts

Past hurts that linger in the memory can be very painful, it can definitely destroy one's self esteem and confidence.Everyone has gone through heartaches and going through it can be very tough. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused. You also may feel anxious about the future. Know that reactions like these will lessen over time. 


Losing someone you love is very painful, you may experience all kinds of difficult and surprising emotions. Sometimes it may feel like the sadness will never let up. While these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming, But they are normal reactions to loss. Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing.

The memories of the good times you had can be almost impossible to forget. It can seem that everything you look at sparks of some sort of painful remembrance. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult time like reaching out to others for support. Even in the midst of the sadness and stress of your loss, you have an opportunity to learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person. 


Just because you are feeling emptiness in your life right now, doesn’t mean that nothing is happening or that things will never change. It’s important not to let these emotions drag on and affect our life so much. Learning from your mistakes is the key to not repeating them.

writing what i feel...

There was a time when I used to think that in order to write you just need a topic and a sense of direction. I am still being taught the ‘techniques’ to write,  the difference between active and passive writing and above all, the RULES to write, but I have learned that writing is not just about rules and logic, it is also about emotions. It comes from inside. It is something that you can't really learn. You can't learn to be creative, it's just there in a person and there is a time and place when it is going to come out. I get those days when I really want to write but can't get past a few words, and then there are those days that I am surprised by looking at how fast I can type. Sometimes my thoughts flow faster than my typing speed and it's hard to keep up with them. :)

I am an emotional person (very emotional). I normally do things with feelings. I can’t write if I can't feel it. I don’t want to write if I don’t feel it. My writings usually come from the heart and not from my mind. It is true that every writer/blogger has an inspiration, which he/she looks up to. It could be someone or something. For some, it is knowledge, for others it's the time of the day. Some are inspired by places like a beach or a particular store etc.. For me, it has always been LIFE, my life, my never ending journey, more failures and less successes and LOVE, for others friends, family (exist or may not exist) and love for myself.....

My purpose of blogging/writing is not to show how intellectual I am or to show that I'm right. Looking back on my life, I have been blessed to have the opportunity to do and see a variety of things.  So all my experiences led me to have definite understanding, opinions, beliefs and views on different stages and issues about life and love, that's why I understand  first before I comment.  I read or listen before I speak. And I believe it’s more beneficial to listen and learn from others’ experiences as well as their ideas, and to be open and humble enough to, if not accept or agree with, at least consider another way of doing or seeing things.

I like expressing myself silently instead of speaking out loud sometimes . Through this, I'm able to express myself without burdening anyone by asking them to listen to what I've got to say.

You may wonder why I write today. I write, simply because I feel like writing.