Understanding Life, Love and Pain

I’ve experienced it all, the bittersweet taste of life. Love, pain, confusion, bitterness, the feeling of being completely worthless, heartbreak, depression and yet I survived.

In life, love is a beautiful experience. Yes, it will always bring pain and God knows what else… but it also brings joy and a feeling of being complete that none of us can ever explain. From my own experience, I’d rather have love and lost, than never to have loved at all. I’ve experienced pain, but I’ve also experienced a little moments of happiness, and I’ll never trade that little happiness for anything. I am who I am now not only because of the good things, but basically because of the bad moments I went through. We experience these painful moments so we could well appreciate the good things in our lives. Sometimes, it is a good thing that the Lord allows some things to happen to us, to make us stronger and wiser than we were before.The quicker we learn and accept things, the better we will be. 

Without love, we will never be complete. Love is what makes the world go round as they say, it is the force that keeps us innately good. I wouldn’t blame love for the pain it brings, nor will I hold grudges against it for the misery it caused, instead I will thank God for it. We get wounds from it, but those wounds will heal eventually but, it’s not like magic that poof! it’s all healed. It should start within ourselves too. Pain is just but a reminder, that we have lessons to learn, joys to look forward to, and a God to go to in times of need. Don’t be scared to love and and experience the pain because it’s part of LIFE. Grieve from it,  but it's important that  when you decide to grieve,  you don't have to shed a certain number of tears, get angry all you want, but don’t be consumed by bitterness because of it, think that life doesn't stop for your pain. Instead, learn from it and use it to become the best person you can be.

I remember when I was young, I always find myself talking to MYSELF saying… “Be strong. Remember, not everything has a happy ending and endings don’t mean stop!". It’s just a way of telling ourselves that there’s a new beginning ahead of us. You should always be ready for the unpredictable and expect the unexpected.  It’s easy to fall, hard to get up. But once you’re up and back on track, you will be a better person. That’s the way of life! You don’t just live it, you learn from it.”

Believe me.... not all lessons in life can be taught, you have to live through it!

what does not kill me only makes me stronger

Whatever you're going through today is just temporary and if it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger to deal with other things in life that may come your way.

I miss you...

i miss you more than you'll ever know. each day that goes by, brings you farther from me and i dont know how much longer my heart can promise me, that someday this will all be different.

Who's UGLY?

Everybody talks bad about somebody. And never realises how it affects somebody. And you bet it won't be forgotten. Envy is the only thing it could be. Because people are all the same, and we only get judged by what we do. Personality reflects name, and if I'm ugly then So are YOU.

Forgive, but never Forget

Forgive and forget… this is a popular line used by lots of people especially when giving advice, but it’s not one that is easily followed, easier said than done as always.

Forgiving someone who has done something hurtful and bad to us is not easy, really not that easy. But it usually can be done, though it may take some time. Even though we’ve forgiven someone for the wrong  things they’ve done, we can never really forget the pain, at least not completely. Our mind can be sharp when it comes to these things. Especially if someone has hurt us BIG time. 
What’s the difference between forgiving and forgetting, anyway? If you’ve forgiven someone, doesn’t it automatically mean that you’re willing to forget everything that happened?  Forgiveness is a process and it may take a long time, some even take forever before the resentment and the anger subsides. Forgiveness means that you choose not to punish that person because of what that person has done to you. But giving forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to forget.
Personally, I have a hard time forgiving and forgetting however I can eventually forgive but can never forget and even if I can, I wouldn't want to. There are so many things that went through my mind thinking bout forgiving those people who have caused me so much pain, For me, Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation. Forgiving may somehow release us  from resentment and negative emotions. So I only consider it more as "acceptance" of the things we cannot undo or change.

It’s not a matter of holding a grudge, it’s just that once the damage has been done, it can never be undone. It can be improved and healed, yes, but then again, it can never be undone. In other words, you can forgive the person, but you can’t forget what they did. It will stay with you forever,  just like a wound, it can be healed but the SCARS will remain, but what changes is how you deal with your emotions. Over time, the pain, disappointment and anger may diminish. It will come to a point wherein it becomes just a distant thought with no more emotional impact. Nevertheless, it will enter your mind… someday, you’ll look back… especially during the times in your life when you’re forced to recall it. But then you’re in control. Because it doesn’t affect you like it used to. And this is when you can say that you’re stronger, because of what you’ve been through and because of what you had to endure.That’s why I can say that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with remembering. “Forgive, but never forget“. Now, that’s more like it. Wouldn’t you agree?  

Instilling Self-Confidence

Hopefully we all know how great it can feel when we are genuinely praised by someone who appreciates us. A few well-chosen words can turn a dull day into a far brighter one and lift our spirits. When we feel that others have recognized us in a positive way, our self confidence can rise and we feel valued as an individual.

Genuine praise is not merely a compliment that is issued out of politeness or as a means of buttering us up. Such praise is half- hearted and often not an honest appraisal of how the person giving the compliment actually feels about us.

The type of praise which makes us truly happy comes from others who are grateful for an action that we have taken or our general behaviour which reflects us as individuals. It may also be when a person pays us a compliment about how we look. This type of praise is personal to us and can mean a lot to us.

The truth is that just about every living being who can comprehend language in some form can benefit from praise. Dogs who display behavioural problems can be trained by using praise, and experiments have shown that it is possible that even plants respond favorably to praise as opposed to negativity. This is possibly because they understand us, not through our language, but through the atmosphere that is created by the intention of our words.

Everyone wants to feel that they have worth. Without a sense of worth we lack confidence and become depressed and unhappy. Just as vegetation grows toward the light, we are designed to grow toward that which is positive, and praise falls into this category.

Many parents have cottoned onto this fact and use praise in order to help teach their children. They may have discovered that giving their children negative feedback results in sadness and, in turn, negative behaviour on the part of their children, where as positive praise has the opposite effect.

We don't have to be children though, to benefit from the value of praise. In the workplace employers can achieve great results in production and effort from their employees if they give praise appropriately and so show that they appreciate work undertaken.

In all relationships we can benefit from using praise, in a genuine fashion, to show that we can see when another person has made an effort. This can go a long way to healing damaged marriages and family rifts.

Sometimes it can feel easier to always tell others when they have made a mistake than to seek out what they have done well and tell them so. This may be because we hope that by pointing out another's faults they will begin to see the error of their ways and will change as a result. However, what really makes people change is when they understand that what they put effort into is worthwhile and appreciated. This way they continue to do what they have done well, safe in the knowledge that this is so due to the positive feedback that they have received.