Never Ending Story

You would think that after a while things would get better… you just have to accept that that’s what life is like. And then it’s some huge surprise every single time I fail, even though I should be used to it by now because it’s like my life story. Its my never ending story and my life has always been like this. up-down, happy-sad, cry-laugh, love-hurt, in-love-broken-hearted.....

I wonder why people act so surprised when they find out how unhappy I really am.  It’s as though they couldn’t tell just by looking at me, or talking to me.  They really needed to see through me, which not many people do.  That’s usually because the second they do, they get scared and leave, or they give up and leave.

That's why  I like to get really dressed up sometimes and deny everything to please them or make them not to worry anymore... but sometimes its better admit to everyone, for me to know if they could really accept me for who i am...

Some people will always tell you it will get better. It’s like this,like that, blah blah blah...really shitty advice everyone feels compelled to give you when you’ve been hurt.  But that’s exactly what it is.  just an advice.  Although it might eventually be okay, but it isn’t right now.  Why is it so bad to feel bad, in a situation that isn’t good at all?

It’s hard to be strong when you are trying so hard to get through the day without dying. Is it hard to understand?

And sometimes I think, there's really no big plan for us.  Some people spend their whole lives believing that there is a reason why we are here, we just haven’t figured it out.  But I now know why. The reason we are all born, is to die.  Inevitably it is the only two things every person will have in common.  They were all born to die.  So what if I want my destiny to happen sooner than everyone else???  

I'm so sick and tired of it all.