Instilling Self-Confidence

Hopefully we all know how great it can feel when we are genuinely praised by someone who appreciates us. A few well-chosen words can turn a dull day into a far brighter one and lift our spirits. When we feel that others have recognized us in a positive way, our self confidence can rise and we feel valued as an individual.

Genuine praise is not merely a compliment that is issued out of politeness or as a means of buttering us up. Such praise is half- hearted and often not an honest appraisal of how the person giving the compliment actually feels about us.

The type of praise which makes us truly happy comes from others who are grateful for an action that we have taken or our general behaviour which reflects us as individuals. It may also be when a person pays us a compliment about how we look. This type of praise is personal to us and can mean a lot to us.

The truth is that just about every living being who can comprehend language in some form can benefit from praise. Dogs who display behavioural problems can be trained by using praise, and experiments have shown that it is possible that even plants respond favorably to praise as opposed to negativity. This is possibly because they understand us, not through our language, but through the atmosphere that is created by the intention of our words.

Everyone wants to feel that they have worth. Without a sense of worth we lack confidence and become depressed and unhappy. Just as vegetation grows toward the light, we are designed to grow toward that which is positive, and praise falls into this category.

Many parents have cottoned onto this fact and use praise in order to help teach their children. They may have discovered that giving their children negative feedback results in sadness and, in turn, negative behaviour on the part of their children, where as positive praise has the opposite effect.

We don't have to be children though, to benefit from the value of praise. In the workplace employers can achieve great results in production and effort from their employees if they give praise appropriately and so show that they appreciate work undertaken.

In all relationships we can benefit from using praise, in a genuine fashion, to show that we can see when another person has made an effort. This can go a long way to healing damaged marriages and family rifts.

Sometimes it can feel easier to always tell others when they have made a mistake than to seek out what they have done well and tell them so. This may be because we hope that by pointing out another's faults they will begin to see the error of their ways and will change as a result. However, what really makes people change is when they understand that what they put effort into is worthwhile and appreciated. This way they continue to do what they have done well, safe in the knowledge that this is so due to the positive feedback that they have received.