I miss you...

i miss you more than you'll ever know. each day that goes by, brings you farther from me and i dont know how much longer my heart can promise me, that someday this will all be different.

Who's UGLY?

Everybody talks bad about somebody. And never realises how it affects somebody. And you bet it won't be forgotten. Envy is the only thing it could be. Because people are all the same, and we only get judged by what we do. Personality reflects name, and if I'm ugly then So are YOU.

Forgive, but never Forget

Forgive and forget… this is a popular line used by lots of people especially when giving advice, but it’s not one that is easily followed, easier said than done as always.

Forgiving someone who has done something hurtful and bad to us is not easy, really not that easy. But it usually can be done, though it may take some time. Even though we’ve forgiven someone for the wrong  things they’ve done, we can never really forget the pain, at least not completely. Our mind can be sharp when it comes to these things. Especially if someone has hurt us BIG time. 
What’s the difference between forgiving and forgetting, anyway? If you’ve forgiven someone, doesn’t it automatically mean that you’re willing to forget everything that happened?  Forgiveness is a process and it may take a long time, some even take forever before the resentment and the anger subsides. Forgiveness means that you choose not to punish that person because of what that person has done to you. But giving forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to forget.
Personally, I have a hard time forgiving and forgetting however I can eventually forgive but can never forget and even if I can, I wouldn't want to. There are so many things that went through my mind thinking bout forgiving those people who have caused me so much pain, For me, Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation. Forgiving may somehow release us  from resentment and negative emotions. So I only consider it more as "acceptance" of the things we cannot undo or change.

It’s not a matter of holding a grudge, it’s just that once the damage has been done, it can never be undone. It can be improved and healed, yes, but then again, it can never be undone. In other words, you can forgive the person, but you can’t forget what they did. It will stay with you forever,  just like a wound, it can be healed but the SCARS will remain, but what changes is how you deal with your emotions. Over time, the pain, disappointment and anger may diminish. It will come to a point wherein it becomes just a distant thought with no more emotional impact. Nevertheless, it will enter your mind… someday, you’ll look back… especially during the times in your life when you’re forced to recall it. But then you’re in control. Because it doesn’t affect you like it used to. And this is when you can say that you’re stronger, because of what you’ve been through and because of what you had to endure.That’s why I can say that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with remembering. “Forgive, but never forget“. Now, that’s more like it. Wouldn’t you agree?  

Searching...

"We all carry these things inside that no one else can see 

They hold us down like anchors, they drown us out at sea

I look up to the sky, they may be nothing there to see

But if I don’t believe in him, why would he believe in me?"

MISTAKES

Nobody likes making mistakes. But you must also realize that mistakes are an essential part of self improvement. Don’t be overwhelmed with guilt and regret, analyze how you can learn from them.

* Apologize with Dignity

If you’ve made mistakes that harm other people, it is important to offer a dignified apology. Be clear that it was an unfortunate incident that will not be repeated. A good apology can go along way to restoring trust.

If you don’t apologize, out of embarrassment or unwillingness, the offended person will hold it against you. If your apology is sincere, the other person is likely to forgive you.

* Don’t Waste Time Trying to Justify Mistakes

Unfortunately, it is our natural instinct to try to justify our actions. When you make a mistake, theinitial reaction is to blame someone else.

We justify mistakes for the sake of our ego. Sometimes it is best to say, very simply — yes, I made a mistake.

* Avoid Repeating Mistakes

You should avoid feeling guilty about making mistakes, but at the same time, you should make a resolution to learn from them.

* Mistakes are Opportunities to Learn

From your own mistakes you can gain wisdom and accelerate self-improvement.



We must understand that we're only human.Accept that we will make mistakes and that we are not perfect.

To Hold On or To Let Go?

Heartbreak is the number one thing that can destroy motivation..losing someone you love takes away all the reasons to go on living..it may be overrated but most certainly feels that way..if you choose to believe in love then you should be prepared for the opposite: losing it..this is where we get into the nitty gritty of holding on vs letting go..when your mind tries to keep holding on to something, it keeps playing back the memories over and over..the mind is tracking back everything that has happened..so by holding on to those memories, you are stuck in a prison within your mind..there is a natural process in life that involves letting go as there cannot be an inhale without having to exhale, so life itself does not complete its expression until it lets go..however, often we resist the letting go part..how long may we hold on to the past before it becomes a deadening action on one’s own potential and future..some people let themselves deteriorate along with the ghosts of the past..change is harder to some than others, but there’s no denying it as an integral process of life..there’s really no way to keep seasons from changing spring to summer then fall to winter..we harvest the crops and then let go, only to discover new growth in the spring..like it would be foolish to try to hold onto the tomato plant..we could shield it from the cold and snow, but it would still die..our actions would be futile and a waste of time..nature knows that what grows must die and that new growth will come..how then can we approach the many circumstances in our lives when we face a time of letting go?  it is by loving that we are able to let go easily and with grace, knowing there will be new growth somewhere as a result..if dear friends announces their move hundreds of miles away, let your love of them and happiness for their great new life ease the loss of their sweet loving presence in your everyday routine..recognize with love that it is an important step in their life thus celebrate it rather than mourn their departure..loving and letting go can be applied as well to numerous other situations..perhaps the best that we can do when we face a situation or circumstance that calls us to let go is to go deeply into the love that is there..in recognizing the love present, we can find peace in letting go and an ability to see the new life that becomes possible..we can let go through loving, because love never dies even though the person is gone, the situation will surely end sometime..this is a no brainer cold truth, but why does it hurt like hell?  does it mean it’s still worth holding on to?

Never Ending Story

You would think that after a while things would get better… you just have to accept that that’s what life is like. And then it’s some huge surprise every single time I fail, even though I should be used to it by now because it’s like my life story. Its my never ending story and my life has always been like this. up-down, happy-sad, cry-laugh, love-hurt, in-love-broken-hearted.....

I wonder why people act so surprised when they find out how unhappy I really am.  It’s as though they couldn’t tell just by looking at me, or talking to me.  They really needed to see through me, which not many people do.  That’s usually because the second they do, they get scared and leave, or they give up and leave.

That's why  I like to get really dressed up sometimes and deny everything to please them or make them not to worry anymore... but sometimes its better admit to everyone, for me to know if they could really accept me for who i am...

Some people will always tell you it will get better. It’s like this,like that, blah blah blah...really shitty advice everyone feels compelled to give you when you’ve been hurt.  But that’s exactly what it is.  just an advice.  Although it might eventually be okay, but it isn’t right now.  Why is it so bad to feel bad, in a situation that isn’t good at all?

It’s hard to be strong when you are trying so hard to get through the day without dying. Is it hard to understand?

And sometimes I think, there's really no big plan for us.  Some people spend their whole lives believing that there is a reason why we are here, we just haven’t figured it out.  But I now know why. The reason we are all born, is to die.  Inevitably it is the only two things every person will have in common.  They were all born to die.  So what if I want my destiny to happen sooner than everyone else???  

I'm so sick and tired of it all.

So Tired

It seems each day I wake up I try to think positive.... but it never fails that I am reminded of how things are not as I wish they were. I am SO tired of feeling depressed. I ignore the good things, advances, and even gestures from others because I am so wrapped up in my consuming past pains.  I used to be so strong, but now I can NOT stop the tears from flowing. It's amazing how I let myself get so attached to anything or anyone in my life when I know that at anytime anyone I love could leave or just not be around anymore. I thought that telling people how you truly feel and being honest are the only TRUE way to having a HAPPY full life, but to what purpose now ......... when I know that someday.. they would eventually choose to walk away. I am trying really hard not to become angry and  bitter. But I am tired of feeling like I am always the one being hurt. I am tired of crying alone and feeling sorry for myself. 

I know I deserve all the things my heart desires -----but how & when?
When and how do I get to be really happy?

What do i really want?

For the longest time, i focused my life on the people around me.

I knew what they liked and what they wanted.

I knew exactly what they needed to be happy.

Their lives and their dreams were all that i could think about.

But what about me? What do i want and need? What makes me happy?

I never took that time to focus my thoughts on those important things.

So today it strikes me as sad that its taken me so long to stop worrying about everyone else and start concentrating on myself.

But changes happen in our lives, and we come to see reality face-to-face…

I am there.

I am ready to stop thinking about others’ happiness

and start focusing on my own

Today… i am thinking about what i want.

Don't be judgemental

Look for and recognize the good in yourself and in others. We are all capable of so-called "good" and "bad" behaviors and we all have our "good" and "off" days. We are all unique and it is wonderful that we are different and not all the same - in our appearance, our thoughts, our opinions, our likes and dislikes. Being different is not threatening, it is not "bad", it is just "different". Embrace the differences and be happy for the variety. And pleasssseeee, forget the concepts of "right" and "wrong". People are not good or bad or right or wrong, they just are. If you were in "their shoes" maybe you would act differently, or maybe not. Being judgmental wastes time and cuts you off from opportunities and meaningful relationships - because you are NOT perfect either, and your judgment might be WORSE than the person's you are judging!

Never judge a book by it's cover.

Remember the GOLDEN RULE: We should treat others as we want to be treated.