...says it all

Understanding Life, Love and Pain

I’ve experienced it all, the bittersweet taste of life. Love, pain, confusion, bitterness, the feeling of being completely worthless, heartbreak, depression and yet I survived.

In life, love is a beautiful experience. Yes, it will always bring pain and God knows what else… but it also brings joy and a feeling of being complete that none of us can ever explain. From my own experience, I’d rather have love and lost, than never to have loved at all. I’ve experienced pain, but I’ve also experienced a little moments of happiness, and I’ll never trade that little happiness for anything. I am who I am now not only because of the good things, but basically because of the bad moments I went through. We experience these painful moments so we could well appreciate the good things in our lives. Sometimes, it is a good thing that the Lord allows some things to happen to us, to make us stronger and wiser than we were before.The quicker we learn and accept things, the better we will be. 

Without love, we will never be complete. Love is what makes the world go round as they say, it is the force that keeps us innately good. I wouldn’t blame love for the pain it brings, nor will I hold grudges against it for the misery it caused, instead I will thank God for it. We get wounds from it, but those wounds will heal eventually but, it’s not like magic that poof! it’s all healed. It should start within ourselves too. Pain is just but a reminder, that we have lessons to learn, joys to look forward to, and a God to go to in times of need. Don’t be scared to love and and experience the pain because it’s part of LIFE. Grieve from it,  but it's important that  when you decide to grieve,  you don't have to shed a certain number of tears, get angry all you want, but don’t be consumed by bitterness because of it, think that life doesn't stop for your pain. Instead, learn from it and use it to become the best person you can be.

I remember when I was young, I always find myself talking to MYSELF saying… “Be strong. Remember, not everything has a happy ending and endings don’t mean stop!". It’s just a way of telling ourselves that there’s a new beginning ahead of us. You should always be ready for the unpredictable and expect the unexpected.  It’s easy to fall, hard to get up. But once you’re up and back on track, you will be a better person. That’s the way of life! You don’t just live it, you learn from it.”

Believe me.... not all lessons in life can be taught, you have to live through it!

what does not kill me only makes me stronger

Whatever you're going through today is just temporary and if it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger to deal with other things in life that may come your way.

Who's UGLY?

Everybody talks bad about somebody. And never realises how it affects somebody. And you bet it won't be forgotten. Envy is the only thing it could be. Because people are all the same, and we only get judged by what we do. Personality reflects name, and if I'm ugly then So are YOU.

Instilling Self-Confidence

Hopefully we all know how great it can feel when we are genuinely praised by someone who appreciates us. A few well-chosen words can turn a dull day into a far brighter one and lift our spirits. When we feel that others have recognized us in a positive way, our self confidence can rise and we feel valued as an individual.

Genuine praise is not merely a compliment that is issued out of politeness or as a means of buttering us up. Such praise is half- hearted and often not an honest appraisal of how the person giving the compliment actually feels about us.

The type of praise which makes us truly happy comes from others who are grateful for an action that we have taken or our general behaviour which reflects us as individuals. It may also be when a person pays us a compliment about how we look. This type of praise is personal to us and can mean a lot to us.

The truth is that just about every living being who can comprehend language in some form can benefit from praise. Dogs who display behavioural problems can be trained by using praise, and experiments have shown that it is possible that even plants respond favorably to praise as opposed to negativity. This is possibly because they understand us, not through our language, but through the atmosphere that is created by the intention of our words.

Everyone wants to feel that they have worth. Without a sense of worth we lack confidence and become depressed and unhappy. Just as vegetation grows toward the light, we are designed to grow toward that which is positive, and praise falls into this category.

Many parents have cottoned onto this fact and use praise in order to help teach their children. They may have discovered that giving their children negative feedback results in sadness and, in turn, negative behaviour on the part of their children, where as positive praise has the opposite effect.

We don't have to be children though, to benefit from the value of praise. In the workplace employers can achieve great results in production and effort from their employees if they give praise appropriately and so show that they appreciate work undertaken.

In all relationships we can benefit from using praise, in a genuine fashion, to show that we can see when another person has made an effort. This can go a long way to healing damaged marriages and family rifts.

Sometimes it can feel easier to always tell others when they have made a mistake than to seek out what they have done well and tell them so. This may be because we hope that by pointing out another's faults they will begin to see the error of their ways and will change as a result. However, what really makes people change is when they understand that what they put effort into is worthwhile and appreciated. This way they continue to do what they have done well, safe in the knowledge that this is so due to the positive feedback that they have received.

Keep Fighting

remember to fight for it – what you believe in, what you want, what you Love.  because as uncontrollable and unforeseeable as the – your – our – future may be, knowing that you invested and exhausted all efforts in the name of the best thing you’ve ever experienced, can provide the kind of peace that sets anguish apart from calmness of mind.

it takes strength to fight, endure, hurt, and still hope. strength that you don’t think you have, at first. but Life takes strength. Love takes strength. and because we’re all meant to live and Love, we all have just the amount of strength we need to do both.

Live and Love.

credits to http://www.flickr.com/photos/eva_patikian/

Positive Self-Talk

If you’re looking to become a more positive and happy person, then positive self talk is definitely something you should try. Whilst ‘self-talk’ might seem a little silly to you, it has worked for a number of people as a way to improve their health, self-esteem, love life, happiness and more! However, if your self-talk is negative then it can make these areas of your life quickly go downhill. So just what is self-talk and how can you use it to your advantage?

Self talk doesn’t mean talking to yourself out loud, it simply refers to the stream of thoughts that are constantly going through your head. It could mean talking to yourself outloud, but usually you do it in your head. You might not even be aware of what you tell yourself all the time,  but many people who are constantly negative in their self-talk will see negative effects in their lives and the way they see thin

How Self Talk Can Help You

When you always talk to yourself in positive terms, you will soon see this coming out in your life. It’s not ‘magic’ – it simply means giving yourself the encouragement that you need to be a success. On the other hand, if you are constantly talking to yourself about being a failure, then the chances are you may fail at things simply because you don’t have the right motivation to succeed.

This could sound depressing, but the great news is that we all have the power to change our self-talk and improve out lives.

If you want to know whether you are talking negatively to yourself, have a think about whether you use thoughts such as:

• “I messed up yet again”
• “This is fun, but it won’t last”
• “That wen’t alright, but it wasn’t great”

How to Use Positive Self Talk

Now you know how to recognise negative self-talk, you can start to think about changing it around. One problem about negative self-talk is that it often means you blame things that were completely out of your control on your own actions. No matter how irrational this sounds, people do it everyday and it creates a negative personality. Instead, when things go wrong, don’t blame them on you. Or when they go bad, tell yourself that yes it was bad for a while but that’s not how it always is. Do you notice the very small twist on thoughts that turns it into a more positive event?

Really, positive self talk means being aware of your thoughts, not blaming yourself and looking on the right side of things. Even if you don’t believe what you are forcing yourself to think , keep practicing and soon you will believe it, and you will be a more positive person.

Top 10 - Things Women Want

Whether she wants to admit it or not, every woman has a mental checklist of qualities that her ideal partner must possess. While the list will differ somewhat from woman to woman, these ten qualities are almost always found somewhere in her 'must have' list of qualities.

1. Respect.

Women want a man who has respect for himself and shows respect to others. We want to know that you value yourself and that you're going to treat us - as well as our family and friends - right. A man who can't be friendly and courteous isn't going to last long, if he even makes it through the front door.

2. Honesty.

An honest man is, generally speaking, a trustworthy man. Someone who lies is lying for a reason, so it stands to reason that someone who is open and honest has nothing to hide. Would you want to be with a woman if you knew or strongly suspected that she was lying to you? Probably not, and women feel the same way.  

3. Loyalty.

Really, does this need any explanation? We don't want to share you. When you're in a relationship with a woman, it is expected that anything romance-related is reserved especially for her. Your kisses are for her, your sweet nothings are for her ears only, your romantic nights out belong to her, and so on.

4. Maturity.

A woman wants a man, not a child. There's a time and a place to joke around, and it's up to you to know when those times and where those places are. It can be as simple as setting aside the jokes at her aunt's funeral to something as easily overlooked as not teasing her in front of her children, who may not understand that you're just kidding and start to think that it's okay to make fun of Mommy.

5. Confidence.

Is it really a big surprise? Men who aren't afraid to be themselves and take control of their own life are a lot more attractive than men who just sit in their safe-zone day after day waiting for life to happen to them. 

6. Compassion.

It's nice to have a shoulder to cry on at the end of a bad day, and the boyfriend is at the top of the 'preferred shoulders' list (after Mom and the best friend, of course). A woman wants a man who's understanding and comforting, who will rub her back and stroke her hair and hold her tissue box if need be. If you want to make the cut, the last thing you want to do in this area is to snap at her when she comes to you for comfort - doing so will only make her hesitant to come to you in the future.

7. Intelligence.

You don't have to be the next Einstein, but you do have to be capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation. Women want to be able to discuss real, meaningful topics with their significant other, whether it's politics or philosophy or whatever else they happen to be interested in. If all you can talk about is sports or cars or drinking, you'll find yourself talking to an empty seat.

8. The ability to provide and protect.

No big surprise here: women want to be financially secure. If something happens and she can't work, she wants to know that you can provide for her and any children you may have. Similarly, you don't need to go around beating up every guy who looks at her the wrong way, but it puts a woman's mind at ease to know that her man knows how to react in an emergency situation, be it an extreme allergic reaction, a fire, or an intruder in the house.

9. Chivalry.

Ignore the extremists; most women would love to have a man open the car door for her, take her jacket, or walk her to her door after a date. Sure, she can do it herself, but going out of your way to do something for her every now and then will make her feel great. Conversely, doing something like sitting outside in your vehicle honking your horn when you go to pick her up for a date is a good way to make sure there's no second date.  

10. Hygiene.

Nobody wants to get close to someone who's greasier than fast food and smells like a compost bin. 
Before you go to pick her up, shower, shave, brush, comb, and splash on a little cologne for good measure. Show her that you care about her opinion and want to look your best for her.

When it comes to women, there's no surefire way to find your way into her heart, but there are plenty of little things you can do to increase your chances, and unless you're King of the Jerks, none of them involve making drastic changes. A thank you here, a romantic dinner there, and a little more effort every day, and you can easily have a perfectly happy woman at your side. 

Credit to Ms. M. Morrison

The Importance of Humor

Relationships are really hard. They require a lot of  effort to keep a relationship healthy and strong. Close contact, passion, keeping the spice, being thoughtful and having patience are just a few ingredients to keep the relationship brewing. One overlooked spice, is humor. It's the glue to keeping the small things that really matter from crumbling away.


Humor encourages positive thinking. It requires a special gift to be able to look for a silver lining in every cloud and not many people can do so, though many need to. Without humor, all you see is dark despair and disappointment. Humor allows you accept flaws, that the universe is not perfect and neither is the person you're having a relationship with. A minuscule characteristic should not distract you from the wonderful connection you have with someone. A sense of humor keeps you sane and keeps you attracted to the relationship. A dose of those endorphins sure feels good too.


There's also humility in humor. If you can't laugh at yourself, how can you ever get through life? Having a sense of humor means you can roll with the punches. A lot of times people forget why they were in the relationship to begin with. Prides are hurt as tempers flare and threatens to destroy something that once brought joy. Having a sense of humor allows the relationship a chance for its feuding parties to one day look back on the fight and laugh. Humor allows people to put their differences behind them and enjoy what the relationship really has to offer. Fights don't seem so serious after a few punch lines.
Humor also keeps the relationship fun. Over time, strain on the relationship may cause it's magic to fizzle out. Having a quick wit and a few jokes on hand could help in reconnecting and rediscovering that spark. Jokes and pranks also help up the ante on laughter, aiding the bonding process. Laughing together makes you feel in touch and connected. A well timed joke can disrupt a mundane meeting between bosses and subordinates, creating a brief atmosphere where it appears, that behind the facade of titles and pay checks, anybody can enjoy a good chuckle.


Humor is very important in any relationship. It comes in handy when deflecting criticism in a mother/daughter relationship and can diffuse a spat between husband and wife. It strengthens friendships and is a great stress reliever at family gatherings. Having a sense a humor can mend broken relationships and create new ones. So the next time you're feeling frustrated at a misunderstanding, have a good belly laugh.

Pleasing Everybody

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison.


A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. 

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." 
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the! donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. 

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. 


MORAL LESSON: You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. 

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.. 


Start your year right! Happy New Year Everyone!  :)

The Health Benefits of Humor: Laughter the Best Medicine

Life is not a bed of roses, at times it is beautiful and at others it leaves behind a trail of sadness. There are many times in our lives when we feel low and the challenges expect us to tackle them clearly and responsibly but that doesn’t mean that we should remove the slightest moments of laughter and light heartedness from our lives.

Laughter is a blessing in disguise which many of us fail to realize. In fact it is one of the things which are contagious in a positive manner; when you smile you leave a smile on the onlooker’s face as well. Laughter is one integral aspect which takes a person beyond just the concept of flesh and bones. Indeed, a person who laughs more has a happy heart and a happy mind which are extremely essential to be successful in life.

Laughter is therapeutic in nature as it opens up your lungs by freeing the breathing process, eases the chest tension by stretching the diaphragm and gives an overall healing effect to your body. It helps in improving respiratory functions for people suffering from problems like asthma. Laughter boosts the overall blood circulation as it improves the blood vessel function and reduces blood pressure and heart rate. It also helps reduce stress in a great way as it reduces the ‘cortisol’ level in the body.

One of the best healing effects of laughter is seen in combating cancer. Cancer thrives in a body which is oxygen depleted and laughter is known to increase the blood circulation thus it increases the availability of oxygen in the body. This is precisely the reason why most of the patients are advised to watch funny stories and cartoons to make them laugh uncontrollably. Another laughter therapy is that it reduces weight by reducing food cravings. In fact, laughing for ten minutes burns 40 calories in a day. Laughter indeed, is the best medicine. To lead a happy and healthy life, laugh a lot and enjoy your life.

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" 
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than 
you." 

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other fou! r fingers are pointing at ourselves. 

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too. 

Enhancing Relationships - TRUST

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is  broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to   suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity   may result in separation. 

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.   She answered, "Customer Service, How may I help you?." There was silence. She   repeated, "Customer Service" There was still no answer. When she was going to   cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is a Company's CSR.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose 
number it is." 

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if   the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "customer service". 

Pampering Day!

Yesterday was so dramatic, I guess it’s one of those days when I really can’t figure out what to do. I’m at a point in my life where I’m trying to let go of some things which im not really sure if i can afford to lose. Im too scared to admit that there are some things in life that isn't easy to let go, I have this tendency to just deny it and my way is to just push it away. I had been overwhelmed with fears, and I kept holding on to my past hurts and I just can't stop clinging on to it, I generalize things, and usually anticipate bad things will happen again. But hey! I can't blame myself, I have reasons why I should feel that way.

Oh well,  I do feel SANER today...So, I decided to splurge today and pamper myself by eating healthy meals, ate all the food I craved for the last two weeks, went to a SPA house, had a steam bath to relax my  tired muscles, then finally, got a relaxing massage. Really a massage is a great way to remove the STRESS that you feel through out your whole body. And truly, things will look better when you feel a little better.. I'm feeling much calmer now and hope i would be able to get through til tomorrow. (fingers crossed) 

Not sure what else to say right now....What's important is that, I managed to make myself happy today.


This is me... just venting, I just had to get this out of my system.


I hope you won't get tired of me. 

Stress Management - Listening to Music

Instead of blasting the TV with incredibly negative news that skew my view of the world and cause me even more irritation, sometimes you should just put on calming relaxing music and let it play in the background.


Truly a relaxing music is a great way to relax!

MISTAKES

Nobody likes making mistakes. But you must also realize that mistakes are an essential part of self improvement. Don’t be overwhelmed with guilt and regret, analyze how you can learn from them.

* Apologize with Dignity

If you’ve made mistakes that harm other people, it is important to offer a dignified apology. Be clear that it was an unfortunate incident that will not be repeated. A good apology can go along way to restoring trust.

If you don’t apologize, out of embarrassment or unwillingness, the offended person will hold it against you. If your apology is sincere, the other person is likely to forgive you.

* Don’t Waste Time Trying to Justify Mistakes

Unfortunately, it is our natural instinct to try to justify our actions. When you make a mistake, theinitial reaction is to blame someone else.

We justify mistakes for the sake of our ego. Sometimes it is best to say, very simply — yes, I made a mistake.

* Avoid Repeating Mistakes

You should avoid feeling guilty about making mistakes, but at the same time, you should make a resolution to learn from them.

* Mistakes are Opportunities to Learn

From your own mistakes you can gain wisdom and accelerate self-improvement.



We must understand that we're only human.Accept that we will make mistakes and that we are not perfect.

Health Benefits of Steam Baths

Stress and tension is a fairly common occurrence for most people these days. There are occasions when stress can be so overwhelming that you feel like giving up. You can become depressed and when you reach this state it is extremely difficult to motivate yourself to do anything. Your physical and emotional well-being can suffer if you let stress get to you, which is why you have to find a way to let off steam. You need to find something which enables you to release those pent-up emotions and gets you to burn off some energy.One of the things I learned lately is that going to a gym or spa after a hard day's work can really do wonders. I discovered that taking a steam bath/sauna have health benefits beyond just relaxation.

photo from tine_stone of flicker

A good sweat whether it's from a workout or from a steam bath is excellent for healthy skin. Dermatologists understand the benefits of steam to create a beautiful, healthy glow. Serious sweating washes the skin better than soap and water since it unlocks the pores and lets deep-seated grime along with dead cells to be washed out. 


Steam bathing is also an effective treatment in respiratory conditions and is highly recommended for the treatment of the common cold, sinusitis, bronchitis, and asthma (it does apply to me because I'm an asthmatic person). Steam relieves inflammation and congestion of the upper respiratory membranes, It also helps relieves throat irritation by moistening the air. Steam loosens secretions and stimulates discharges of mucous from the throat and lungs. Also, it improves circulation and blood flow, the heat of a steam causes the heart rate to increase and blood vessels to expand that creates cardiovascular workout without having to strain muscles and joints, it is actually the same result we get from mild workout such as brisk walk.

Steam bath also relaxes muscles and relieves the pain due to physical and mental stress, even releasing toxins and free radicals that may allow for better overall health. You may wonder about the difference between sauna and steam bath but there generally is no difference noted between a dry sauna and a wet sauna or a steam bath as the benefit is related to generating enough sweat and heat to detoxify and relax the body.

One of the things I realize in my own life is that no matter how bad a day might have been, taking care of my self makes all the difference in how I feel about who I am. Taking care of my body not only cleanses the outside, but it also refreshes me internally. From my perspective it’s a cleansing of the soul if you will. Taking care of my body reenergizes me from within.


Now that I learned that stress and tension can affect our physical, mental and emotional state, the best way to restore ourselves is to reward ourselves with a hot and relaxing bath.  :)

To Hold On or To Let Go?

Heartbreak is the number one thing that can destroy motivation..losing someone you love takes away all the reasons to go on living..it may be overrated but most certainly feels that way..if you choose to believe in love then you should be prepared for the opposite: losing it..this is where we get into the nitty gritty of holding on vs letting go..when your mind tries to keep holding on to something, it keeps playing back the memories over and over..the mind is tracking back everything that has happened..so by holding on to those memories, you are stuck in a prison within your mind..there is a natural process in life that involves letting go as there cannot be an inhale without having to exhale, so life itself does not complete its expression until it lets go..however, often we resist the letting go part..how long may we hold on to the past before it becomes a deadening action on one’s own potential and future..some people let themselves deteriorate along with the ghosts of the past..change is harder to some than others, but there’s no denying it as an integral process of life..there’s really no way to keep seasons from changing spring to summer then fall to winter..we harvest the crops and then let go, only to discover new growth in the spring..like it would be foolish to try to hold onto the tomato plant..we could shield it from the cold and snow, but it would still die..our actions would be futile and a waste of time..nature knows that what grows must die and that new growth will come..how then can we approach the many circumstances in our lives when we face a time of letting go?  it is by loving that we are able to let go easily and with grace, knowing there will be new growth somewhere as a result..if dear friends announces their move hundreds of miles away, let your love of them and happiness for their great new life ease the loss of their sweet loving presence in your everyday routine..recognize with love that it is an important step in their life thus celebrate it rather than mourn their departure..loving and letting go can be applied as well to numerous other situations..perhaps the best that we can do when we face a situation or circumstance that calls us to let go is to go deeply into the love that is there..in recognizing the love present, we can find peace in letting go and an ability to see the new life that becomes possible..we can let go through loving, because love never dies even though the person is gone, the situation will surely end sometime..this is a no brainer cold truth, but why does it hurt like hell?  does it mean it’s still worth holding on to?