...says it all

what does not kill me only makes me stronger

Whatever you're going through today is just temporary and if it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger to deal with other things in life that may come your way.

I miss you...

i miss you more than you'll ever know. each day that goes by, brings you farther from me and i dont know how much longer my heart can promise me, that someday this will all be different.

Who's UGLY?

Everybody talks bad about somebody. And never realises how it affects somebody. And you bet it won't be forgotten. Envy is the only thing it could be. Because people are all the same, and we only get judged by what we do. Personality reflects name, and if I'm ugly then So are YOU.

Forgive, but never Forget

Forgive and forget… this is a popular line used by lots of people especially when giving advice, but it’s not one that is easily followed, easier said than done as always.

Forgiving someone who has done something hurtful and bad to us is not easy, really not that easy. But it usually can be done, though it may take some time. Even though we’ve forgiven someone for the wrong  things they’ve done, we can never really forget the pain, at least not completely. Our mind can be sharp when it comes to these things. Especially if someone has hurt us BIG time. 
What’s the difference between forgiving and forgetting, anyway? If you’ve forgiven someone, doesn’t it automatically mean that you’re willing to forget everything that happened?  Forgiveness is a process and it may take a long time, some even take forever before the resentment and the anger subsides. Forgiveness means that you choose not to punish that person because of what that person has done to you. But giving forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to forget.
Personally, I have a hard time forgiving and forgetting however I can eventually forgive but can never forget and even if I can, I wouldn't want to. There are so many things that went through my mind thinking bout forgiving those people who have caused me so much pain, For me, Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation. Forgiving may somehow release us  from resentment and negative emotions. So I only consider it more as "acceptance" of the things we cannot undo or change.

It’s not a matter of holding a grudge, it’s just that once the damage has been done, it can never be undone. It can be improved and healed, yes, but then again, it can never be undone. In other words, you can forgive the person, but you can’t forget what they did. It will stay with you forever,  just like a wound, it can be healed but the SCARS will remain, but what changes is how you deal with your emotions. Over time, the pain, disappointment and anger may diminish. It will come to a point wherein it becomes just a distant thought with no more emotional impact. Nevertheless, it will enter your mind… someday, you’ll look back… especially during the times in your life when you’re forced to recall it. But then you’re in control. Because it doesn’t affect you like it used to. And this is when you can say that you’re stronger, because of what you’ve been through and because of what you had to endure.That’s why I can say that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with remembering. “Forgive, but never forget“. Now, that’s more like it. Wouldn’t you agree?  

Instilling Self-Confidence

Hopefully we all know how great it can feel when we are genuinely praised by someone who appreciates us. A few well-chosen words can turn a dull day into a far brighter one and lift our spirits. When we feel that others have recognized us in a positive way, our self confidence can rise and we feel valued as an individual.

Genuine praise is not merely a compliment that is issued out of politeness or as a means of buttering us up. Such praise is half- hearted and often not an honest appraisal of how the person giving the compliment actually feels about us.

The type of praise which makes us truly happy comes from others who are grateful for an action that we have taken or our general behaviour which reflects us as individuals. It may also be when a person pays us a compliment about how we look. This type of praise is personal to us and can mean a lot to us.

The truth is that just about every living being who can comprehend language in some form can benefit from praise. Dogs who display behavioural problems can be trained by using praise, and experiments have shown that it is possible that even plants respond favorably to praise as opposed to negativity. This is possibly because they understand us, not through our language, but through the atmosphere that is created by the intention of our words.

Everyone wants to feel that they have worth. Without a sense of worth we lack confidence and become depressed and unhappy. Just as vegetation grows toward the light, we are designed to grow toward that which is positive, and praise falls into this category.

Many parents have cottoned onto this fact and use praise in order to help teach their children. They may have discovered that giving their children negative feedback results in sadness and, in turn, negative behaviour on the part of their children, where as positive praise has the opposite effect.

We don't have to be children though, to benefit from the value of praise. In the workplace employers can achieve great results in production and effort from their employees if they give praise appropriately and so show that they appreciate work undertaken.

In all relationships we can benefit from using praise, in a genuine fashion, to show that we can see when another person has made an effort. This can go a long way to healing damaged marriages and family rifts.

Sometimes it can feel easier to always tell others when they have made a mistake than to seek out what they have done well and tell them so. This may be because we hope that by pointing out another's faults they will begin to see the error of their ways and will change as a result. However, what really makes people change is when they understand that what they put effort into is worthwhile and appreciated. This way they continue to do what they have done well, safe in the knowledge that this is so due to the positive feedback that they have received.

Keep Fighting

remember to fight for it – what you believe in, what you want, what you Love.  because as uncontrollable and unforeseeable as the – your – our – future may be, knowing that you invested and exhausted all efforts in the name of the best thing you’ve ever experienced, can provide the kind of peace that sets anguish apart from calmness of mind.

it takes strength to fight, endure, hurt, and still hope. strength that you don’t think you have, at first. but Life takes strength. Love takes strength. and because we’re all meant to live and Love, we all have just the amount of strength we need to do both.

Live and Love.

credits to http://www.flickr.com/photos/eva_patikian/

Searching...

"We all carry these things inside that no one else can see 

They hold us down like anchors, they drown us out at sea

I look up to the sky, they may be nothing there to see

But if I don’t believe in him, why would he believe in me?"

Positive Self-Talk

If you’re looking to become a more positive and happy person, then positive self talk is definitely something you should try. Whilst ‘self-talk’ might seem a little silly to you, it has worked for a number of people as a way to improve their health, self-esteem, love life, happiness and more! However, if your self-talk is negative then it can make these areas of your life quickly go downhill. So just what is self-talk and how can you use it to your advantage?

Self talk doesn’t mean talking to yourself out loud, it simply refers to the stream of thoughts that are constantly going through your head. It could mean talking to yourself outloud, but usually you do it in your head. You might not even be aware of what you tell yourself all the time,  but many people who are constantly negative in their self-talk will see negative effects in their lives and the way they see thin

How Self Talk Can Help You

When you always talk to yourself in positive terms, you will soon see this coming out in your life. It’s not ‘magic’ – it simply means giving yourself the encouragement that you need to be a success. On the other hand, if you are constantly talking to yourself about being a failure, then the chances are you may fail at things simply because you don’t have the right motivation to succeed.

This could sound depressing, but the great news is that we all have the power to change our self-talk and improve out lives.

If you want to know whether you are talking negatively to yourself, have a think about whether you use thoughts such as:

• “I messed up yet again”
• “This is fun, but it won’t last”
• “That wen’t alright, but it wasn’t great”

How to Use Positive Self Talk

Now you know how to recognise negative self-talk, you can start to think about changing it around. One problem about negative self-talk is that it often means you blame things that were completely out of your control on your own actions. No matter how irrational this sounds, people do it everyday and it creates a negative personality. Instead, when things go wrong, don’t blame them on you. Or when they go bad, tell yourself that yes it was bad for a while but that’s not how it always is. Do you notice the very small twist on thoughts that turns it into a more positive event?

Really, positive self talk means being aware of your thoughts, not blaming yourself and looking on the right side of things. Even if you don’t believe what you are forcing yourself to think , keep practicing and soon you will believe it, and you will be a more positive person.

The Importance of Humor

Relationships are really hard. They require a lot of  effort to keep a relationship healthy and strong. Close contact, passion, keeping the spice, being thoughtful and having patience are just a few ingredients to keep the relationship brewing. One overlooked spice, is humor. It's the glue to keeping the small things that really matter from crumbling away.


Humor encourages positive thinking. It requires a special gift to be able to look for a silver lining in every cloud and not many people can do so, though many need to. Without humor, all you see is dark despair and disappointment. Humor allows you accept flaws, that the universe is not perfect and neither is the person you're having a relationship with. A minuscule characteristic should not distract you from the wonderful connection you have with someone. A sense of humor keeps you sane and keeps you attracted to the relationship. A dose of those endorphins sure feels good too.


There's also humility in humor. If you can't laugh at yourself, how can you ever get through life? Having a sense of humor means you can roll with the punches. A lot of times people forget why they were in the relationship to begin with. Prides are hurt as tempers flare and threatens to destroy something that once brought joy. Having a sense of humor allows the relationship a chance for its feuding parties to one day look back on the fight and laugh. Humor allows people to put their differences behind them and enjoy what the relationship really has to offer. Fights don't seem so serious after a few punch lines.
Humor also keeps the relationship fun. Over time, strain on the relationship may cause it's magic to fizzle out. Having a quick wit and a few jokes on hand could help in reconnecting and rediscovering that spark. Jokes and pranks also help up the ante on laughter, aiding the bonding process. Laughing together makes you feel in touch and connected. A well timed joke can disrupt a mundane meeting between bosses and subordinates, creating a brief atmosphere where it appears, that behind the facade of titles and pay checks, anybody can enjoy a good chuckle.


Humor is very important in any relationship. It comes in handy when deflecting criticism in a mother/daughter relationship and can diffuse a spat between husband and wife. It strengthens friendships and is a great stress reliever at family gatherings. Having a sense a humor can mend broken relationships and create new ones. So the next time you're feeling frustrated at a misunderstanding, have a good belly laugh.

Pleasing Everybody

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison.


A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. 

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." 
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the! donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. 

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. 


MORAL LESSON: You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. 

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.. 


Start your year right! Happy New Year Everyone!  :)

Beautiful People

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

Holiday Greetings

Merry Christmas to all my dear friends! If not for all of you, I wouldn't have learned as much as I have, and for that I thank You!

To those who are still in my life ... Thanks for staying here with me, especially when I was going through some rough moments. Your support helped me to go on. I truly appreciate it.
(wont mention names , but, you know who you are! ) THANKS guys!

To those who are not in my life anymore ... Wish you had stayed. You don't know what you are missing! LOL!

May you all have a wonderful Christmas & A Prosperous New Year!

Enhancing Relationships - NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their partner will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character." 

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the partner's character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. 

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.. 

Enhancing Relationships - PATIENCE

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. 

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed 
suicide. 

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or you wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. 

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever. 

The Health Benefits of Humor: Laughter the Best Medicine

Life is not a bed of roses, at times it is beautiful and at others it leaves behind a trail of sadness. There are many times in our lives when we feel low and the challenges expect us to tackle them clearly and responsibly but that doesn’t mean that we should remove the slightest moments of laughter and light heartedness from our lives.

Laughter is a blessing in disguise which many of us fail to realize. In fact it is one of the things which are contagious in a positive manner; when you smile you leave a smile on the onlooker’s face as well. Laughter is one integral aspect which takes a person beyond just the concept of flesh and bones. Indeed, a person who laughs more has a happy heart and a happy mind which are extremely essential to be successful in life.

Laughter is therapeutic in nature as it opens up your lungs by freeing the breathing process, eases the chest tension by stretching the diaphragm and gives an overall healing effect to your body. It helps in improving respiratory functions for people suffering from problems like asthma. Laughter boosts the overall blood circulation as it improves the blood vessel function and reduces blood pressure and heart rate. It also helps reduce stress in a great way as it reduces the ‘cortisol’ level in the body.

One of the best healing effects of laughter is seen in combating cancer. Cancer thrives in a body which is oxygen depleted and laughter is known to increase the blood circulation thus it increases the availability of oxygen in the body. This is precisely the reason why most of the patients are advised to watch funny stories and cartoons to make them laugh uncontrollably. Another laughter therapy is that it reduces weight by reducing food cravings. In fact, laughing for ten minutes burns 40 calories in a day. Laughter indeed, is the best medicine. To lead a happy and healthy life, laugh a lot and enjoy your life.

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" 
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than 
you." 

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other fou! r fingers are pointing at ourselves. 

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too. 

Enhancing Relationships - TRUST

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is  broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to   suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity   may result in separation. 

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.   She answered, "Customer Service, How may I help you?." There was silence. She   repeated, "Customer Service" There was still no answer. When she was going to   cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is a Company's CSR.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose 
number it is." 

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if   the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "customer service". 

What do i really want?

For the longest time, i focused my life on the people around me.

I knew what they liked and what they wanted.

I knew exactly what they needed to be happy.

Their lives and their dreams were all that i could think about.

But what about me? What do i want and need? What makes me happy?

I never took that time to focus my thoughts on those important things.

So today it strikes me as sad that its taken me so long to stop worrying about everyone else and start concentrating on myself.

But changes happen in our lives, and we come to see reality face-to-face…

I am there.

I am ready to stop thinking about others’ happiness

and start focusing on my own

Today… i am thinking about what i want.

writing what i feel...

There was a time when I used to think that in order to write you just need a topic and a sense of direction. I am still being taught the ‘techniques’ to write,  the difference between active and passive writing and above all, the RULES to write, but I have learned that writing is not just about rules and logic, it is also about emotions. It comes from inside. It is something that you can't really learn. You can't learn to be creative, it's just there in a person and there is a time and place when it is going to come out. I get those days when I really want to write but can't get past a few words, and then there are those days that I am surprised by looking at how fast I can type. Sometimes my thoughts flow faster than my typing speed and it's hard to keep up with them. :)

I am an emotional person (very emotional). I normally do things with feelings. I can’t write if I can't feel it. I don’t want to write if I don’t feel it. My writings usually come from the heart and not from my mind. It is true that every writer/blogger has an inspiration, which he/she looks up to. It could be someone or something. For some, it is knowledge, for others it's the time of the day. Some are inspired by places like a beach or a particular store etc.. For me, it has always been LIFE, my life, my never ending journey, more failures and less successes and LOVE, for others friends, family (exist or may not exist) and love for myself.....

My purpose of blogging/writing is not to show how intellectual I am or to show that I'm right. Looking back on my life, I have been blessed to have the opportunity to do and see a variety of things.  So all my experiences led me to have definite understanding, opinions, beliefs and views on different stages and issues about life and love, that's why I understand  first before I comment.  I read or listen before I speak. And I believe it’s more beneficial to listen and learn from others’ experiences as well as their ideas, and to be open and humble enough to, if not accept or agree with, at least consider another way of doing or seeing things.

I like expressing myself silently instead of speaking out loud sometimes . Through this, I'm able to express myself without burdening anyone by asking them to listen to what I've got to say.

You may wonder why I write today. I write, simply because I feel like writing.