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Thursday, October 7, 2010

Loneliness While In A Relationship

It might not seem to make sense, why would someone feel lonely while they are in a relationship with someone?. Maybe because sometimes loneliness isn’t always about who you are with; sometimes it’s about how you are feeling about yourself and how you feel the world perceives you. It’s possible to be in a room crowded with people and still feel completely alone, even if the other people there are making an effort to talk to you. This is because you feel disconnected from the other people; as if it’s more like you are watching them, rather than being with them; as if you really are alone somewhere and only your body is there in that room with those other people.


It can be like this while in a relationship too sometimes. Where you wake up next to someone and don’t feel them there; as if you were far away somewhere watching them on a television screen, or maybe it’s a dream where you see this other person or things going on, but you don’t feel like you’re really a part of it, or them, or anything else. You’re just all in your mind, feeling sad or lonely, or sometimes bitter, because everyone else seems to go on as if you were feeling them.



On the other hand, some people feel lonely in a relationship because they don’t feel the person they are with is really connecting with them. Sometimes this happens when one or the other person isn’t all that great at expressing love, or intimacy. In these cases, you feel like you have to take their word for it when they say they love you, or want to be with you, because they don’t know how to show it or aren’t willing to do the things that other people do to show the people they love that they really do care.
And other times, people feel lonely while in a relationship because the relationship isn’t as fulfilling as they’d like. Maybe there is not enough spark, or romance, or maybe one or both of you is growing bored; or maybe you’re finding out that you don’t have as many things in common as you thought in the beginning, or maybe you start to feel like there should be more to life and love and being with someone, and you’re just not getting that with the person you are with.
But other times, it’s also possible to just feel lonely, for no good reason at all. It might be a mood, or a passing phase or maybe just your time of the month. Whatever it is, you likely hope it will pass, because who wants to go around feeling lonely when they are in a relationship with someone.


8 comments:

rajavoom said...

I know someone whose exactly in the same situation. I feel for him because I know him well and he confides in me. And I feel helpless. I can't do anything to help a friend undergoing a VERY complicated matter. It breaks my heart seeing him that way.

M.C. said...

Good companionship and mutual emotional support are also important in every relationship. Sometimes, just being there for them whenever they need us is enough. :)

Elle said...

This is so so true!

Anonymous said...

http://www.helium.com/items/1960498-why-some-people-feel-lonely-even-when-in-a-relationship

Are you Sam?

Anonymous said...

I'm with someone who makes me feel that way. Like i'm temporary in her life. She is my best friend as well but i never get a I love you and because of kids we get very little itemacy. I'm a very effectionate person and she is not. This causes me a great deal of stress. I guess I really don't know what she wants from our relationship and am scared to ask out of getting an answer that will hurt. So in a weird way I'd rather feel bad and have her than feel bad without her.

Anonymous said...

I look at those around me and I see how happy some couples are. I know there could be more and I have tried to address the problem . But she doesn't want to do anything about it .....so I go through the motions as the rift widens and I become more alone in my own home In this home there is a stranger who now sits in the same room and I wonder If I met her now I would have no interest in this person . We have become house mates we have nothing in common and each day repeats itself . This is loneliness, this is my sadness!!!

Anonymous said...

I feel yha im also seeing a guy but he doesnt feel the void of being lonely ,its like im still single , i wana leave him but im i hate being alone ....i dnt see him being my happily ever after but...just for now im holding on to the feelings i felt before im so over this relationship......i need someone to pull me out or rescue me i feel like i will know when the ryt guy comes along but his definetly nt the one.

Anonymous said...

feeling like everything has come to a dead stop in your relationship, no intimacy no conversation and no time for eachother well on their part, I have stressed myself to make things better but its a loosing battle...I know you are not suppose to stay together just because of kids but every single relationship ive ever been in is a loosing battle.. cant take it anymore and im tired of being lonely and depressed and he refuses to do anything about it nor does he want to let me go...STUCK

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